“What is self-love?” I asked the sky. A bird was flying into my vision, dancing with the wind.
She whispered softly, “Self-love is freedom.”
Back on January 30, 2020, I posted a blog entry titled “Vom ICH zum SEIN” (trans. “From the I to the AM”). At that time, I decided my next article would be about “self-love.”
Well, for the past 2 ½ years, I have been contemplating self-love. When I thought I knew enough about what it means to live self-love, the universe showed me over and over again where I hadn’t quite grasped its essence just yet.
Then, after continuous contemplation, I came to a conclusion: It’s ALL about self-love. Self-love is the key. Realizing the fullness of self-love is the foundation of the healing journey, the ascension journey, the medicine path. Realizing the fullness of self-love means loving, understanding, and forgiving one’s own self. It means shining our unique, wonderful self into the world, seeing fully our own beauty, and recognizing fully our own greatness. Self-love is about allowing ourself to express fully, and to embrace and step into our power. Oh, how easy that sounds and yet how challenging it can be!
How deeply we are able to love ourself reflects the measure of how deeply we are able to love others
Self-love has another exquisite component: how much we truly love ourself is a measure of how deeply we can truly love others. When we reach deep down to the core of the Self, we find in it the same core that resides in others. Seeing that spark within us allows us to see that spark within others. At the core of Self-love, we find the Self in everything and everyone. From the bottom of our heart, we can love the smallest beetle and the greatest mountain — seeing divinity in all of it. And while admittedly difficult to grasp, we can even love the evil of the world because we see the child that has been hurt, the child that is crying in desperation. The collective outer world is a reflection of what is going on inside of us, collectively. It is never hate that heals the world, but love and understanding.
Learn to hold yourself in loving arms when you feel the need for love
The most important lesson that I learned on this self-love journey was to hold myself in love even in my desperate times. To allow myself to feel and think without judging myself. To be the lover, friend or parent to myself, that “other” whom I always wanted. When I feel sad, afraid or insecure, I learned to allow myself to feel, and I imagine that I am holding myself in my arms, caring for myself lovingly and telling myself that it is ok, that I am safe. My inner me fills with warm, soft and tender love — and I eventually start seeing that everything is good and I feel inner strength and lightness coming back.
Be the person to yourself that you wish you had when you were hurt
I tell you, it really makes the difference. You will be surprised how beautiful it is when you try it out. Often, it’s a past version of ourself that is coming through, revealing an unhealed, usually hurtful, experience. Instead of denying it or rejecting this hurt part, look at it lovingly, understandingly (“inner-standingly”). Be the wise and loving person to yourself that you wished you’d had when you were hurt back then. Give your recent self a new experience. Instead of rejection, allow reintegration into your wholeness. And whenever the memory of the pain comes back, lovingly hold yourself in your arms again. All is ok. You are ok. In fact, you are amazing. You are pure beauty. You will see how holding yourself in non-judgmental love becomes easier and easier until it becomes completely natural.
Forgiving = healing: Forgive everything in yourself and others
Self-love means forgiving myself. I was surprised to realize how often I had held an almost casual, unnoticeable unforgiveness towards myself. Forgiveness is healing. In my point of view, forgiving oneself and others is the fastest way to becoming lighter, collectively and individually. Further, forgiveness triggers self-healing processes. Anything that I cannot forgive points to something in myself that I cannot see clearly. When I forgive, I let go of what needs to go and I reintegrate what belongs to me.
Caring lovingly for one’s self
Self-love means caring for one’s self. Caring for my body, my mind, my spirit. What is it I need so my whole system can relax into peace? It is of utmost importance to care for our own self, to care for our own energy. To create the space that we need for ourself. We are allowed to allow ourself this process. We don’t need to be “perfect”. Perfect is who I am and where I am in this moment. In challenging situations, I remind myself: “This is why I’m here.” I am here exactly for this. I am here to experience it, to learn from it. I am an eternal divine being. I came to experience this very moment. Feel the power of your being. We are each so powerful and so endlessly loved, always. We are each so important.
We are not alone, we are always loved
There is something else that really helped me through difficult times to self-love. It’s the realization that I am never alone. You are not alone, I am not alone, never are we alone. We are eternal inter- and multidimensional beings and we all have our families and guides in spirit that are at least as real as you and me reading this article. They love us endlessly. They hold us in love. They always support us in our highest good. But it’s not just that; indeed, there are so many amazing and beautiful spirits all around us. For example, trees are sensitive and compassionate beings, great listeners and great healers. When we talk to the spirits of nature, nature will answer us and help us and support us. A bird or the wind or the rain will answer our questions. We are not alone, ever. We are loved, always.
Self-love is freedom
What did the bird mean when she said, “Self-love is freedom”? When we love ourself fully, all chains that were put on us, all chains that we’ve put on ourself, that inhibit us from living our true Self, fall off. We let go of the old stories because we learn that they are not who we are. We let go of judging ourself for a certain way of thinking or feeling because we learn that those thoughts and feelings are not who we are. We are the one who observe our thoughts and feelings. We… unique, eternal divine sparks. We are here to experience our path to true happiness and fulfillment.
We are here to sing our Song of the Self, the melody of our soul. We are here to enrich existence with every particle of ourself. When we are not dependent on others for granting us our self-worth or confirming that all is good or that we are good, then we are free to be whoever we want to be. We have always carried that knowing deep inside of us. When we know that the goal is happiness, we can follow all things that make us happy. We can be as crazy as we want and we can allow ourself to shine our brightest.